Dear Diary: Chronicles of a Final Year
by Cloe Lockless
Summary: 17-year-old high-school student Draco Malfoy falls under the spell of his new Literature teacher, Harry Potter, aged 24. AU, HPDM, slash. M for language and mature content. TRANSLATION
1. Chapter 1

**Translator's Note:** Hi there! I'm happy to share with you guys one of the most amazing and thought-provoking HPDM fanfiction I have ever read in French. It was written by Myschka in 2005 (see the favorite stories list on my profile page) and generated over 3700 reviews. I'm thrilled that the author agreed to let me translate it to English though it is quite an old story and she doesn't write fics anymore. I hope you'll have a good time!

This is a very long story - 70 chapters! - **Thanks to Halloween265** for her help!

_[And exits the translator…]_

* * *

This a response to Zoomalfoy's prompt, which goes as follows:

**Rating:** M

**Pairing:** HPDM

**Genre:** AU, Romance

**Plot:** 17-year-old high-school student Draco Malfoy falls under the spell of his new Literature teacher, Harry Potter, aged 24. He will have to deal with his father's fierce disagreement, his love choice's strong morals and the latter's ex-boyfriend, who is determined to get him back.

NO MAGIC. THE STORY MUST TAKE PLACE IN THE MUGGLE WORLD.

**No constraints except they have to end up together and Draco has to be utterly despicable to Harry at the beginning of the year. **

**o0O0o**

**Disclaimer:** My name is _not_ JKR (who created these wonderful characters), nor Zoomalfoy (who came up with the prompt). However, the story and the writing are mine (and it may not be the best of it!).

**Warning:** This is slash, I repeat, slash! If gay-themed stories disgust or shock you, you shouldn't be here, and I won't mind your absence at all—quite the opposite. There. Now that we are among civilized people, I still want to remind you that M rating implies shocking scenes, physical violence or sex, and occasionally crude language as well; although this particular chapter is rated K, the following chapters might get a bit saucier. You know where you are at.

**Author's note:** I really liked that prompt and thought it would be fun to write it in diary form. I like to try and put myself in Draco's position, and the diary concept is a change from usual POVs. I don't really know yet how this story is going to turn out, but I think it will be a little more serious than "My best enemy." And it keeps me busy, keeps my mind away from the illness. In any case, I hope you'll enjoy it!

**o0O0o**

**Dear Diary (Chronicles of a Final Year)**

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's Diaries, September 1st, 1996:**

_**3pm:**_

I am on the train to Hogwarts for what I hope will be my last year in this fantastically boring boarding school. As usual, Father didn't come to the station with me, and Mother insisted on coming. I wonder if she will ever understand that I am not her little boy any more—the little boy I was so long ago I can't even remember anymore. Pansy and Blaise made fun of me again. I hate her mother-hen side—so annoying! She's embarrassed me in front of my friends again.

Three more hours before we get there. I still can't figure out why my Father even chose this place; there are so many excellent public schools in London, why send me in the middle of _Scotland_? I'm getting more and more convinced that he hates seeing me. All he cares about is his business anyway, and I'm only worth anything to him as long as I take over the company when he decides. I wish I could make my own choices for once. Father knows bloody well I want to study chemistry and perfumery after high school, more than anything; but he doesn't seem to give a hoot.

**o0O0o**

"_Draco?"_

_The young man looked up and let out an irritated sigh._

"_What now, Pansy? Can't you see I'm busy?"_

_The brunette's bony cheeks instantly turned pink._

"_Sorry," she stuttered. "I just wanted to ask you if you would mind pairing up with me in biology."_

"_We'll see. Just leave me alone, now."_

_Draco returned to his large, green leather notebook, the first page of which was already scribbled over. He sighed again. This year was going to be just as boring as the previous ones._

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's Diary, September 1st, 1996:**

_**10pm:**_

As I expected, I'm Head Boy this year. I didn't want to, but no one gave me the choice. At least I won't have to share a room with my classmates. Mother will be thrilled about it. As for Father, I suppose he will just say it's the least I could do. This commoner, Hermione Granger, is a Prefect too, and three other students as well whose names I don't remember. This girl is so irritating. Father demanded that I get better grades than her this year, but this pest has always beat me to it. I am only better than her at physics and chemistry, and at sports of course.

I wonder if she'll be taking the same electives as me this year. I would hate to see her in my Literature or Italian classes. But as far as I know she chose Latin and French, so unless she got a special dispensation—which wouldn't be surprising at all, actually. Oh well, I'll see for myself next week when classes start.

I wish I could have stayed in Stonehenge one more week. Why did Father want me to leave ahead of schedule? He's been getting more and more withdrawn lately; I don't think he even talks to Mother about his business anymore.

This room isn't so bad, actually. I have a nice view of the park—luckily I didn't end up with a view on the sports fields. It's relatively spacious and well furnished, and I have a private bathroom. I wonder if Father paid for that. I will probably never know, though I doubt Dumbledore is the kind of person who would accept a bribe. The crazy old man may be the only person I know who can never be bribed with money.

So, I suppose I should go to bed. Tomorrow I will have to start choosing which clubs I want to join. I will probably join the music club, the chess club, and I assume I will have to join the soccer team, like every year. Although I'd rather join the swimming team. I hope Father won't object.

_Draco carefully put away his diary and his expensive fountain pen in the drawer of his night stand. He hesitated briefly before picking up the novel he had started to read over the summer, wanting to read just a couple pages. It was only once he had finished it, at about one in the morning, that he finally turned off the light._

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, September 2, 1996:**

_**2pm:**_

I woke up too late today, but I don't really want to get back to the Hogwarts schedule just yet. I've decided I would join the swimming team. What helped me make up my mind was that this stupid Ronald Weasley, Granger's boyfriend, was chosen as the reserve keeper in the soccer team. I already have to bear with him in class, I refuse to do sports with him on top of that.

I joined the chess club, and I heard they were also giving introductory classes to Go. It could be interesting after all. I have, of course, returned to the music club—I am the only pianist they have.

This afternoon I am hoping to go and talk to Professor Snape. I want to ask him if he would agree to tutor me in chemistry; I don't think he will say no. He knows how much I want to pursue this subject after graduating, and after all, he would never say no to his best student. I think he likes me.

Oh shoot, here come those two morons, Crabbe and Goyle. I can't figure out why Father wants me to be friends with them so much.

_**6pm:**_

Snape has agreed to tutor me. I'm so happy! We will be meeting on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 5 to 7, and he said he would start to teach me some basics about perfumery. I didn't know he knew so much about plant biology, it will be very helpful. Blaise keeps laughing at me when I talk about perfumery, but he doesn't understand the beauty of what I consider as an art. He'll see, in a couple years, when he'll be wearing my latest fragrance.

The teachers haven't all arrived yet. I heard the Deputy Headmistress and the biology teacher say there would be a new Literature teacher for the Seniors. I hope it won't be some old academic like the one we had last year. I'm glad he retired. Besides, you know who should seriously think about retiring? Binns, the history teacher. I don't know why Dumbledore clings to him… For God's sake, he fell asleep last year while supervising a test! I know Father asked for his resignation at the board, but it seems that Dumbledore and McGonagall had rejected it.

_**9pm:**_

I went to the Music Room after dinner. I wanted to play a bit. It's a little silly, but I miss Stonehenge. I hope we will spend Christmas there this year. But I am guessing Father will want to stay in London to work and that Mother will want to spend the social season there. I already know how it will go: an impersonal Christmas Eve with a lot of people I either don't like or don't know, and on the 31, the New Year's ball at Lord Whatever's, which I will have to attend with Pansy. And in February, I guess we will be going to a super prestigious ski resort again, where Mother will cheerfully mix with the upper crust of Europe.

As for me, all I would like to do is spend nice and peaceful holidays in the countryside, going out for walks or riding alone, in peace. But Mother won't want to, and Father will think it's just a pretext to invite my friends over to party. Little does he know I don't give a shit about these "friends"! There's only Blaise, and Millicent, to a lesser extent, whom I really like. By the way, I wonder when Milli will be here; she wasn't on the train yesterday, and I haven't seen her today. I can't wait to see her, I missed her over the summer.

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's Diary, September 5, 1996:**

_**8pm:**_

Milli just arrived. She is all tanned, it looks really pretty on her. She's grown again, she is almost as tall as me now, 5.9 feet or something. She seems to be having a complex about it, but I think she's gorgeous as she is, all the more so as she has lost quite some weight since last year. I am going to Hogsmeade later with her and Blaise, since it's Friday, we are allowed to go out. She'll tell us all about her holidays, I can't wait. Milli always has a lot to tell.

_**1:30am:**_

Oh my God. Shit, I don't even know how to put this!

We had a great night out. We may have drunk a little too much beer, but it was really nice, and we talked about what we did over the summer. I didn't have much to say, personally, but Blaise and Milli always have spicy stories to tell. But I did _not_ see this one coming!

Ok, here it goes: Milli is a lesbian. She realized that over the summer and—scoop of the year—she even met a girl, and they dated. Her parents know nothing about it obviously, we are the first to know.

On the one hand, I feel honored, and touched, that she would come talk to us about it first. But at the same time, I don't know how to deal with the news. For some reason, I am not shocked, but still… it's kind of weird—I can't find a better word. I'm scared about how her parents might react. And what about the other students, if the news ever got out? What if someone heard about it and the word spread—what is she going to do in her dorms?

I don't know how I am going to deal with this; I don't think I will be able to talk to her as freely as I used to in public. But I don't want her to think I'm not ok with her being a homosexual! I don't know what to do.

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's Diary, September 7, 1996:**

_**3:30pm:**_

I talked to Milli and told her how I felt about what she told us Friday night. She took it rather well, but I know somehow she feels hurt that I am so embarrassed. But she's not dumb; she knows full well she can have trouble with the other girls if people knew. It's a tricky situation, I hope she'll pull through. Blaise thinks the same.

Tomorrow is our first day of classes. I'd rather hang myself than go, but I know I can't just be careless about this year, because of the graduation exams. Nevertheless, I don't want to go back to work. Our schedules will be handed out tomorrow morning at breakfast. Father let me focus on the mandatory classes and the most useful electives. I guess it is because he doesn't want me to spread myself thin (still keeping his succession in mind), and I already feel like he won't be happy that I chose so many options. Oh what the hell, if he's not happy it's all the same, I will stick with my chemistry classes! Oh well, I should be glad he let me continue Literature.

I think I'll go for a swim.

_**10pm:**_

God, Pansy Parkinson is annoying. That girl is clingier than ivy! She just had to join the swim club. She's with the beginners, of course, and not on the swim team, but it still means I'll have to put up with her three more hours a week. I'm pretty sure it's just an excuse to be nearer to me.

I know Father would like the idea of a union between our two families, and that he is more or less counting on me to marry her later. But I can't help it, I don't like this girl. She's not pretty, she's not smart, and she isn't even nice to compensate for it. In fact, she takes more after bulldogs than human beings; at least she has the same intellectual level. Same mug and personality, too, by the way.

I think I'm going to stop gelling my hair back. It ruins them.

Shit, and now I'm talking like a girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** I'm sorry if the schedules look odd, but I don't know a thing about the English school system and my high-school days were ages ago… I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**o0O0o**

**Dear Diary (Chronicles of a Final Year)**

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, Monday, September 8, 1996:**

_**9pm:**_

Today was the first day of classes. I got my new schedule this morning and it's ok, not too busy… Actually, I _am_ very busy but it's mostly because of the optional classes and the clubs, I have almost as many of them as of mandatory classes. So here is how it goes:

Monday:

From 8:00am to 10:00am: History & Geography

From 10:30am to 11:30am: Physics & Chemistry

From 11:30am to 12:30pm: Biology

From 2:00pm to 5:00pm: Swimming

Tuesday:

8:00am-9:00am: Italian

9:00am-10:00am: Literature

10:30am-12:30pm: Economy

2:00pm-4:00pm: Math

Wednesday:

8:00am-9:00am: History & Geography

9:00am-10:00am: Italian

10:30am-11:30am: Biology

11:30am-12:30pm: Physics & Chemistry

1:30pm-3:30pm: Philosophy

4:00pm-6:00pm: Chess

6:00pm-8:00pm: Tutoring with Snape

Friday:

8:00am-9:00am: Math

9:00am-10:00am: Economy

10:30am-12:30pm: Philosophy

1:30pm-2:30pm: Music club

Apart from Wednesdays—when I might wear myself out—it's pretty cool. I don't know how the students in France manage so many classes in a week, I'm glad our school system is less constraining and more focused.

I'm a little knackered after my three hours of swimming, especially as I had to shake off Pansy after the session. That leech wanted to follow me into the locker rooms! I might be able to bribe Terry Boot into kicking her out of the club. I know Father won't be happy about it and will try to blame me for it, but I'd rather be partnered with Blaise in Biology. She is terrible at Biology and I don't want my grades to suffer because of her. On the other hand, I wouldn't like it if Milli was forced to work with her because of me, which might happen if I pair up with Blaise. We'll see.

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, Tuesday, September 9, 1996:**

_**8pm:**_

I hate the new Literature teacher! His Lordship's name is Harry Potter and He went to Cambridge, if you please.

God, why on earth did Dumbledore hire such a dumbass? He barely graduated from college and he thinks he's in his place in our school? So pretentious… And to think that all the girls in the class almost fainted when he walked in… Stupid birdbrains! Just because he's good looking doesn't mean he's a good teacher!

And his clothes! It's like he stole them from a tramp, he looks so pathetic in them. No class and no charisma. And his glasses look awful. And what's with that gawking expression, that idiotic smile, so irritating. His attitude is like, "I'm your friend, you can trust me, we're pals". Just who does he think he is? And on top of that he's friends with Lupin, the philosophy teacher. I'm sure these two go shopping together, it's like they found their clothes in the same dust bin.

And what's with the little questionnaire he gave us at the beginning of the class—that was stupid: what does he care what our favorite books are? The syllabus is the same for everybody anyway, and the national exams won't be our bedside readings; so what's it got to do with him?

That guy is too nice to be trusted, that's what I blame him for. I'm sure he's incompetent no matter what prestigious college he comes from.

Now back to Milli: she got a letter from her summer girlfriend this morning. There was a picture with it. She is pretty cute and oddly enough, quite feminine. Milli was annoyed that I said that: she said it wasn't because she couldn't find herself a guy that she was a lesbian. Now that I think of it, it makes sense, and I was stupid to say that. I just have to accept that Milli simply likes girls and that's all. Sexual frustration has nothing to do with this. And anyway, she's pretty enough to attract boys; I know Theodore Nott's had a crush on her ever since 10th grade. I'd always wondered why she wouldn't go out with him but now it's quite obvious. Maybe she already knew somehow that she wasn't into boys.

I feel like going out shopping on Saturday. I wonder if Blaise would want to go to Hogsmeade with me.

**o0O0o**

_Draco opened the envelope, which was closedwith the Malfoy family seal, and frowned slightly as he read the contents of the letter. Blaise and Millicent were watching him with questioning eyes so he handed them the letter, and, after having scanned through the lines of Lucius Malfoy's thin, black handwriting, his two friends had the same meaningful frown._

"_Well, seems like you should expect a spectacular row when you get home," Blaise pointed out, looking a little worried._

"_Blimey, your Father's not joking about it, is he?" Millicent said, sounding upset._

"_I know," Draco replied briskly. "But I just can't make myself do that. I'm sorry, Milli, and I really hope you'll find someone else to pair up with in Biology; it's just not humanely possible to put up with Pansy. And, no offense, Blaise has better grades than you do."_

"_I don't blame you," the young girl said softly. "I know full well I'm more of a literary person, so no offense taken. Anyway, Luna Lovegood asked me if I wanted to work with her."_

"_What? Loony asked you to work with her?," Blaise exclaimed, stunned. "Really… Did she tell you why?"_

"_Er, no, she just came up to me and just like that, she said, along with the absent-minded expression she often wears, 'I told Professor Sprout you and I are working together for the lab work.' I was gob smacked. But you know, she's got very good grades, and Pansy was approaching so I didn't object."_

_The three of them laughed up their sleeves as Millicent mentioned Pansy Parkinson. Then suddenly, Blaise nudged Draco and nodded his head towards the back of the dining hall._

"_Hey, look! Did you see how Lavender just checked you out?"_

_Draco glanced indifferently to the blond girl who giggled as she saw him turn his gaze to her. He shrugged._

"_Yeah, she's alright I guess. Between you and me, I find her common. Now her girl friend Parvati, she is more my type."_

"_No way! She's too serious all the time… And, she has no breasts. No, really, _my_ type is more the smoking-hot red head, like Ginny Weasley, you see?"_

"_Oh please! That girl has no class at all—have you seen her clothes?—and she has a shitty temper!" said Draco, looking appalled._

"_Yeah, but believe me, nothing's fake," Milli interjected, at once annoyed and amused by her two best friends' typical male conversation. "You can't say as much of Brown, I know for a fact that she had her nose remodeled."_

"_I wouldn't give a damn if she had her arse hole remodeled," Blaise said with a lewd expression. "I bet she can blow pretty nicely with such a mouth…"_

"_Shut up. I'm out of here, Zabini, you make me sick," Milli snapped, grabbing her bag and rising from her chair._

_As the young girl left the hall, Blaise turned to Draco, stunned and a little annoyed:_

"_What is wrong with her? Is she having her period or what?"_

"_Zabini, your finesse and sensitivity will always baffle me. You may not have noticed, but just because she's a… you know… it doesn't mean she's not a girl, who doesn't like her kind to be treated as meat. On top of that, she must miss her girlfriend."_

"_Fuck, I hadn't thought of that… Shit, I'm such a moron…"_

"_That's your problem, Blaise; you don't think," Draco replied. "But now there's just the two of us… yeah, you're right, her blowjobs must be fantastic. You reckon it's collagen?"_

_Blaise laughed and Draco sneered._

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, September 11, 1996:**

_**10pm:**_

I am _so_ tired.

As expected, I got a letter from Father who was blaming me for choosing to pair up with Blaise for lab work. He said I wasn't doing enough effort to improve the friendly relationship between mine and Pansy's families. Rubbish! I'd much rather have good grades than get stuck with bulldog face. I did it because Milli is partnered with Luna Lovegood. The girl is super weird but oddly enough, she has excellent grades. Everyone thinks she's crazy but Milli is glad she could get away from Pansy (and so am I). The thing with Parkinson is that she thinks I'm in love with her and that Milli is her best friend. Maybe we should take after Blaise and tell her to sod off more often, so that she understands that we don't want her near us.

Apart from that, the tutoring with Snape is going really well! We started working with simple essences, and it's great! I'm enjoying it and I am more and more certain that is what I want to do after high school. I can already sense Father won't be happy about it. I know he more or less forced Mother to quit her job in the fashion industry so she could stay home, and that Aunt Bella hates him for that. I don't want him to do this to me.

I dislike Potter more and more . He asked me to stay at the end of the class today so I could explain to him why I didn't answer his stupid questionnaire. I told him it was none of his business and he gave me a paper to do on Richard III. I don't care, I won't do it. Let him worry about his classes instead of annoying me with pointless rubbish!

I'd like to write to Father so he could ask for his dismissal, but I would be surprised if he accepted. He'd probably tell me I shouldn't have signed up for a useless course. So annoying. I'm sure he doesn't even know how to direct a class. He is too nice to have any authority. He's been pulling it off well for now because all the girls are at his feet and the boys think he's cool, but he'll see in a couple weeks, he won't be enjoying himself anymore!

And seriously, what does he care why I chose Literature as an optional course? I hate people who act like they're interested in others, especially teachers. He won't make me believe I'm of any importance; even my parents don't care about me… Even Mother, who always thinks I'm just like she wants, and who refuses to see me as I am. So a pathetic little teacher? Please. It's just hilarious

I'll make sure he wipes that fake smile of his off his face.

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, Saturday, September 13, 1996:**

_**11am:**_

To think that I could be in London right now, or better, in Stonehenge… But Father doesn't want me to come back until the holidays. I'm pretty sure that, should he not need me to show off during his social gatherings, he'd rather have me stay at Hogwarts all year round. Fortunately Mother can't stand it too long without seeing her "baby"…

This afternoon I'm going to Hogsmeade with Milli and Blaise. I've talked them into going shopping with me. I know Blaise doesn't like trying on clothes that much but I know a new record shop just opened and he'll undoubtedly be more excited about that. Plus I need to go out and clear my mind.

Lupin and Potter are supervising the trip. I _knew_ these two were friends. Maybe they go panhandling for money together…

_**6pm:**_

I had a fantastic time this afternoon. I bought lots of new clothes and a new perfume. Blaise came out of the record shop with tons of bags. Maybe I'll go buy some CDs there sometime. The owners of the shop are the Weasley twins so I don't want to make that penniless family rich, but these sure aren't twats like Weasel bee—even though they seem to be friends with Potter. I overheard their conversation and thought I heard that he knew their elder brothers, Bill and Charlie Weasley, from college. Great, now I'm surrounded by Labour party supporters. Father says this breed is a threat to England and he keeps ranting about them being involved with the government. I suppose it's because he has to pay more taxes than with the conservatives so he's making less profit. To be honest I don't give a shit.

I should go to dinner. I'm not hungry but I don't want people to ask me why I didn't come down to the dining hall tonight.

_**9pm:**_

Lavender Brown gave me a blowjob in the bathrooms earlier. It was weird. Not exactly unpleasant, but I felt more like I was a spectator than part of it. I didn't come, which upset her. I think she wants to go out with me, but I find her fucking stupid. On top of that, people say she's slept with almost every guy in the school; at least that's what Blaise says. Maybe I will sleep with her. She's got big breasts so it shouldn't be that bad. Maybe I should go buy some condoms.

I'd rather shag her friend Parvati though. I think I like brunettes better.

I think I'll stay in my room tomorrow. I don't want to do sports. I know Terry wanted us to train on weekends too, but there's time for me to think about it before the inter-school competitions. And I'm behind with my readings. Maybe Milli will want to tell my fortune. She's getting along pretty well with Lovegood, who is into a lot of esoteric stuff. I think she misses her girlfriend.

Blaise decided to put the moves on Ginny Weasley. He really has terrible taste. Why not Filch's cat while we're at it? (He's the janitor). I'm talking nonsense. Anyway, Ginny Weasley… I'm sure he does it to piss her brother off.

**o0O0o**

**Draco Malfoy's diary, Wednesday September 17, 1996:**

_**11pm:**_

Binns gave us an in-class test this morning: French Resistance in England during World War II. Boring. I only find the Enlightenment period in France and the English industrial revolution to be interesting; honestly, I wish I was able to drop the subject this year. I'm going to write to Father, I'm positive I heard the old crock snore once or twice during the test.

Potter gave me a detention tomorrow from 4 to 6 because I didn't write the paper on Richard III. Looks like I'll have to make him understand certain things. I'm a Malfoy for fuck's sake! He cannot treat me this way. Milli says I'm overreacting and that he's nice, but I can't help it—he is so irritating with his know-it-all airs. He looks like such a swot; especially with his I'm-so-perfect attitude. When I hear Lavender or that silly goose Hannah Abbot giggle every time she looks at him, it makes me want to smash her pretty little face into a wall until it gets red. Fuck, I'm so angry, I have to find a way to make his life hell. I swear by the end of the trimester he'll have a nervous breakdown and call for a substitute.

I slept with Brown, by the way. We did it Tuesday in a broom shed, during lunch break. It wasn't great, frankly; she kept squealing like a small animal, it was exasperating. It turned me right off. And in the end big breasts aren't that great; it felt like I was playing with rubber balls. I'm sure they're fake. I'll have to ask Milli about it, she always knows the latest gossip.

I wonder if Brown would agree to a three-way with Parvati. But then again, I don't think I want to do it again with that dull, giggling blonde. She's like all the others; she only cares about me because Father is loaded, and because I'm the most popular guy in school. But she couldn't care less about who I really am.

Oh, I know: a three-way with the twins. Now that would be awesome. I just have to flirt with Padma and Parvati. Blaise will be so jealous.

Speaking of Blaise, his attempts at the Weasel girl haven't been very successful so far. If I am correct, she must have turned him down like five times since Sunday, quite a feat. He really should set his mind on another girl. This one has a terrible temper.

Oh, I forgot about the best part: I beat Ronald Weasley at chess this afternoon! The prick was so mad, serves him right. But actually, I think I'm going to try Go. Luna Lovegood is the one in charge of the introductory sessions this year. That girl is really full of surprises. I can see why Milli likes her. Actually I've been wanting to try Go for a while now but the previous years it was Cho Chang who was in charge. I was stupid enough to sleep with her once or twice and the goose grew fond of me. She went after me for 4 months. It was pathetic. For Merlin's sake, she even cried in the middle of the dining hall because I told her where to get off. Fortunately, she graduated.

I'm exhausted, I think I'm going to go to bed. I need to be on top form for my confrontation with Potter tomorrow.

**o0O0o**

**TN: **_Next chapter, Harry's point of view! Thank you for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

**TN:** _Thanks for all the story alerts, it's good to know people are interested in this story. It is going to take a while! Thanks to the reviewers, too! And thanks to Halloween265 for fixing my English!_

**AN:** _Hi everyone! In this chapter I'm writing Harry's point of view, so even if the story is in chronological order, there will be some flashbacks since there are two different point-of-views. Don't be mad at me if it goes slowly, it's the point. I want the story to unfold nice and slow, and I don't intend to make their lives easy! So, yes, right now, Dray is a jerk and Harry, well… You'll see for yourself in this chapter :D Enjoy! _

**o0O0o**

**Dear Diary (Chronicles of a Final Year )**

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's Diary, Monday, September 8, 1996: **

_**8pm: **_

Sometimes I wonder what horrible deed I might have done in some previous life to deserve such bad luck. Why on earth is he here?

On the superficial side of things, I am a very happy man: I just graduated from college and my very first appointment was to a permanent teaching position, and what is more, in one of the most prestigious boarding schools of the UK. This is an incredible opportunity. Of course I am only teaching Literature and French to a few 11th and 12th graders, but it's a start. And I was delighted to see one of my former professors again, Remus Lupin, who has been teaching philosophy at Hogwarts for two years. I won't thank Sirius enough for having recommended me to him when I started college and I hope to become friends with him eventually.

Most of my colleagues seem rather nice, and the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, made a good impression on me, though he seems a little eccentric. In fact, there is only Professor Snape who does not seem to like me. There are natural antipathies, and I fear I might have involuntarily stirred up his hostility. The man's dedication to his work verges on fanaticism; he made a rather unpleasant impression on me. I hope, however, that we will manage to overcome our mutual distaste and be cordial to one another; though, judging by the man, it doesn't seem quite likely.

My few students seem quite excited so far by the subjects I teach. Today I met my French class and everyone seemed very interested. One student in particular has caught my attention: Miss Hermione Granger seems to be one of those students whose thirst for knowledge seems insatiable. I am delighted about it; it is always nicer to work with motivated students. I hope my Literature class will be as enthusiastic. I would like not to just stick to the curriculum but get them interested in many different literary styles. I have prepared a questionnaire to get to know their tastes better; it might help me decide what to teach.

The apartment that was allocated to me is small but comfortable, and very welcoming. My predecessor must have been keen on Art Nouveau but I don't mind at all. There is something sophisticated about it, without being too pretentious, and I find it quite enjoyable. There is even a kitchen, in case I would prefer to have my meals at home. The living-room is very light and has a view on the beautiful grounds, which will enable me to keep painting. I would like to devote more time to painting than when I was a student.

To sum it up, this year seems to be very promising. Unfortunately, something had to come ruin the picture. For Heavens' sake, why is Colin here? I thought I would never see him again after college. If I were of a paranoid nature, I would think he is after me, but I will just keep thinking I am cursed and that nothing will ever be perfect in my life. After all, who in their right mind would follow their ex-boyfriend, especially after such a painful break-up?

I hope he won't cause any trouble and he will behave himself. Anyway, our schedules aren't quite compatible, as he teaches Photography and Plastic Arts, and we don't teach at the same time. I will be able to avoid him most of the time, and I don't think he will mind much. I should be happy for him: he has got a good position, too, but I can't forget our history. It is still too early, I guess.

I should stop writing now and start preparing my classes for tomorrow.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Thursday, September 11, 1996: **

_**10pm: **_

Maybe I was a little too optimistic about my students. Oh, sure, most of them seem to enjoy the class, but I am under the impression that some of my students are taking it just to get easy extra points on the final exams.

And there is this boy. A haughty and unpleasant young man called Draco Malfoy. If I remember well, his father is one of the country's wealthiest man. One of the greatest names, too. A cold, ruthless man, apparently, who conducts his family and business all alike—with an iron fist. I am surprised the son of such a pragmatic man would choose to take an optional Literature class. I could not help taking a look at his school records: he has received excellent grades, especially in Chemistry. Then why waste his time with a subject he is clearly not interested in?

Draco Malfoy is a mystery. He refused to answer my questionnaire and when I asked why, he looked at me with this scornful air certain people who believe they are superior to the other have, and he said it was none of my business. Although I don't like doing this, and it really isn't my style to clash with people when it isn't necessary, I had no option but to give him extra work to do. Shakespeare is, to my mind, an endless source of inspiration and speculations—a short paper on Richard III should spur his intellect on.

Remus Lupin is as pleasant as I remembered. Of course, it is somewhat surreal to consider him as a colleague when he had been my professor, but it isn't an unpleasant feeling either, quite the opposite. When I had Sirius on the phone, he was thrilled to hear his old friend was working with me. They lost touch a couple years ago, I think it will encourage my godfather to get back in touch with him. It seems to me he is feeling lonely since he got divorced.

I also got on well with Mrs. Sprout's—the biology teacher— assistant. Neville Longbottom is quite shy but he really cares about his work, specifically vegetal biology. He is very kind. It is

funny to say, but it is our disliking Professor Snape that actually brought us together. I am not proud of that, but it is rather funny. In any case, apart from the grim-looking Severus Snape, my relationships with my colleagues are on the whole very satisfactory.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Sunday, September 14, 1996: **

_**6pm: **_

Yesterday I supervised the trip to Hogsmeade with Remus. It is a nice little town, I think I might go back there often when I am not supervising. I was pleased to see Fred and George Weasley again; they own a record shop in town. Their elder brothers, Bill and Charlie, and I were close friends in college, so I took the opportunity of asking how they were doing. Bill is now working in finance and Charlie is a zoologist. He takes care of protected species in Africa, which has always been his dream. I am very happy for him. They also told me their younger brother Ron and little sister Ginny study at Hogwarts, but neither of them is taking my classes. But then I don't think I would be comfortable having my college mates' siblings in my class.

Colin tried to talk to me yesterday at dinner. He seemed to really want me to come up to his place after dinner—to chat, or so he said. I must say it didn't appeal to me very much, so I pleaded a migraine to get away. In the end, the prospect of a peaceful meal at home crept into my mind. Colin looked nervous and edgy, I didn't like it. I hope he will leave me alone.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Tuesday, September 16, 1996: **

_**3pm: **_

I guess I can say it's official: Draco Malfoy is an asshole, a disdainful, brainless rich kid. I tried to be nice with him, but the brat was bold enough to refuse to do the extra work I required from him. So I gave him detention with me this Thursday from 4 to 6, so he can work on the damn paper. I may be incredibly naïve, but I am wondering what makes him behave like this. Maybe he took a sudden dislike to me for some reason I am unaware of? Or is he like this with all his other teachers? In any case, if he goes on like this, I will have to talk about it to the Headmaster and tell him I am banning him from my class. I can't afford to allow a trouble-maker in my class.

And yet he seems to be close friends with one of my most dedicated students, Millicent Bullstrode. The girl seems to be extraordinarily sensitive, and she is genuinely enthusiastic about Literature. She is also my student in French and she is doing pretty well so far. Not as well as Miss Granger, but close enough. However, something troubles me with this teen, I cannot point out what exactly. She seems different from her classmates. Maybe it's due to this special sensitivity I sensed from her. I wonder… Well, I know it is none of my business and that I have no right to make these kind of speculations about my students, but I am under the impression that she is voluntarily isolating herself from the others, and that this has nothing to do with a particularly shy disposition.

To be completely honest, I think she is gay. I have no idea where that impression might come from. But if it _is_ the case, I will have to be particularly watchful. Teenagers are cruel, and to discover one's sexuality at an age when one is so fragile is a very difficult experience to live through. I remember only too well how it happened for me, and how Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia rejected me. I was lucky Sirius was there for me, urging me to forget about them once and for all when I went to college. I cannot thank him enough for having supported me financially when I landed up on the street, waiting to be old enough to inherit my parents' money.

Speaking of which, I really hope Colin won't be stupid enough to reveal our relationship. I don't know how people would react, and though I like to think Albus Dumbledore is not the kind of man who would judge people by this kind of things, I wouldn't like to lose my job as a result of complaints from discontented parents. Oh well, at least apart from the conversation we had Saturday night, he hasn't tried to talk to me.

I feel somewhat guilty, though, to feel like I have to hide that part of my life. Maybe I should talk to Neville about it, just to test the waters. Remus knows, but he already knew when I was his student, so I know he won't talk about it if I do not wish to.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Friday, September 19, 1996: **

_**8pm: **_

Ginny Weasley came to talk to me today after lunch. She is a very lively and lovely girl, with a very strong character, just like her brothers. She was thrilled to meet a friend of Bill and Charlie's, and let me know her mother Molly would be very happy to have me over for dinner sometime. The invitation made me really happy; I think I am going to accept it.

She also asked me if I would accept to give her French lessons, which was a surprise to me. However, I soon understood that she actually wanted to learn the basics of the language during private lessons. As she is already taking German and Russian, it was not possible for her to take a third language in the regular curriculum. It seems to be a good idea, but I will have to ask the Headmaster for permission. Ginny wants to be an interpreter, so I don't see why I wouldn't help her make her dream become reality.

It's a pity my students aren't all like her, or like Misses Granger and Bullstrode. Of course, I am talking about young Malfoy, to whom I had given a detention yesterday afternoon. This young man surprises me more and more. He wrote the essay I had asked him to do within just an hour. Then, he spent the next hour writing on rough paper what seemed to be music scores—I understand he plays the piano in the Music club. Such casualness almost shocked me, and I thought he had just dashed his work off.

That is why I was so surprised when I saw the exceptional quality of his work. He seems to know Shakespeare like the back of his hand, _and_ it is obvious he loves this author and his work. I wish I could grade this paper, it is completely mind-blowing.

Then why doesn't he make any effort during my class? I am beginning to think he really hates me—whatever for? I don't understand such hostility. Be that as it may, I am going to wait a couple weeks before I decide what to do with the boy.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Sunday, September 21, 1996: **

_**11pm: **_

Tonight I went to the Weasley's for dinner. The whole family was here, except for Bill and Charlie; it was really nice to see everyone again. When I am with these people, I feel like all families should be like this one. For someone like me, who never got to know his parents, it is heartwarming but also terribly painful. It is at times like this that the absence of a real family is felt, and I have to bear with the fact that the wound will never completely heal.

Miss Granger was there, too; I learned she was engaged to Ronald. Though I think they are a little young for this, they make a wonderful couple. She was a little uneasy at first, but then she spent most of the evening asking me questions about my trips to France. There was also Penelope Clearwater, whom I knew only by sight from college, and who is Percy's wife-to-be. He is the only one among the Weasley siblings whom I don't feel completely comfortable with. His bureaucrat spirit bothers me a bit. He is an intern in the education department now.

I spoke to the Headmaster about having private lessons with little Ginny. He welcomed the idea favorably, as I was expecting, and we are beginning on Wednesday. Ginny is very good at German and Russian, and she took Latin classes till 10th grade, so French shouldn't be a problem for her. I am working on the assumption that the more languages you speak, the easier it is to learn a new one.

To go back to the Weasleys, I think Fred fancies me. I am not certain he is gay, but something I cannot quite point out in his attitude makes me think so. In any case, he invited me to a concert next Saturday and I accepted. George won't be there as he his having dinner with his fiancée, Alicia. I admit I don't know how to react, but I'll see. I am not sure I want a relationship right now, although I like Fred. And I don't want anything that is just about sex either. I know I am a bit old-fashioned when it comes to this, but the few affairs of this kind I ever had were more disappointing than anything. Of course I am not saying that I will never try it again, but it isn't very likely I will. In any case, not with someone like Fred.

While we are at it, I finally talked to Neville about my homosexuality. I won't pretend I am not relieved: he took it very well. He is straight himself, but his best friend is a lesbian, so he doesn't mind. And he seems to know I am not interested in him that way, because his demeanor hasn't changed at all, as it often happens with most people. All of the sudden they are less comfortable and less spontaneous. Especially men, who immediately think we want to come on to them. At times, their confidence baffles me. Just because I am gay doesn't mean I am going to lunge on anything that has a penis—people can be so prejudiced sometimes… But with Neville, fortunately, I didn't have that kind of problems.

**o0O0o**

**Harry Potter's diary, Wednesday, September 24, 1996: **

_**10:30pm: **_

My first lesson with Ginny went well. Her accent is terrible and she rolls her r's in a rather funny way, but apart from that, she memorized easily the basic presentation sentences and the vocabulary I gave her to learn. It is still too soon to tackle the grammar, but I have at least started to teach her some conjugation basics, specifically the verbs _être_ and _avoir_. I think she has a good potential, and she can improve very quickly.

She asked me if I would go see her brother play in the first home soccer game of the season, on Sunday two weeks from now. I assume most of the faculty will have to be there (though I can hardly imagine Snape supporting his students from the bleachers), so I might go too. The Weasleys will be there to cheer on Ron (though he probably won't be playing, as he is the substitute keeper).

I talked to Neville about my issues with young Malfoy. He told me he was a very taciturn and withdrawn boy who only talks to his close friends. He seems to have the same cold and scornful attitude with everyone, and Neville thinks it is just to protect himself. Be that as it may, he is going to have to learn some manners if he wants to stay in my class! I would like to talk to him and try to understand why he seems to bear such a grudge against me, but I'm afraid that in the present state of affairs, he might not trust me enough to agree to have a conversation.

Dealing with teenagers in crisis is complicated. I had forgotten how hard it was. Maybe I am too young for this.

I shouldn't feel down just because of one difficult student. Otherwise the day I am appointed in a problem zone, how will I pull through?

Colin tried to talk to me again today, right before my lesson with Ginny. I don't know what he wants from me. Maybe I should agree to talk with him after all. What have I got to lose?

**o0O0o**

_Harry stopped writing as the phone rang in his living room. He left his comfortable armchair with regret, laying his pen on the large, red leather-bound notebook whose pages were covered with his neat, round handwriting. Rushing off into the living room, he picked up the phone just as the answering machine was clicking on. _

"_Hello?" _

"_Oh, Harry, hi, it's Fred. I thought you weren't there, I wanted to leave you a message. Is this a bad time?" _

"_Not at all, don't worry, I was just writing. What can I do for you?" _

_Harry heard a gentle, slightly embarrassed chuckle on the line. _

"_Actually, I just wanted to know what you were up to, and ask you if Saturday was still on." _

"_Why yes, of course, unless something awful happens like my banker having a heart attack or a student ending up in detention." _

_Fred laughed. _

"_Ok then, awesome. Oh by the way, how's Ginny doing with the French lessons?" _

"Fort bien, très cher(1)._ Her accent is awful but apart from that she's good, I believe." _

"_That's great, good for her… Er, Harry?" _

"_Yes?" _

_Harry was taken aback by Fred's hesitant tone as he spoke again after a brief silence during which the young man wondered if the conversation had been broken off. _

"_I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me after the concert… I know a nice little restaurant, Italian cuisine… I mean, if you don't already have other plans, of course." _

"_Er, I don't think I have. I mean, that sounds good, yes. No problem." _

"_Oh. Ok, great." Fred sounded relieved. "Ok, so see you Saturday then?" _

"_Sure. Have a good evening, Fred." _

"_Yes. You too. Bye." _

_Harry hang up with a confused expression on his face. Then he shook his head and went back to his room. _

**o0O0o**

_**11:30pm: **_

I think Fred might like me. I'm almost sure now, actually. I just had him on the phone and he sounded embarrassed, almost shy, though he isn't usually like that, at all. I'm not sure accepting his invitation to dinner is such a good idea after all.

Oh, I'll see what happens then. I need to clear my mind right now.

It is getting late, maybe I should go to bed. Tomorrow I have class with the 12th graders and something tells me that Draco Malfoy is not intending to behave.

Maybe I'll read a bit first. There is a novel I'd like to make my students read, but I have to be sure first that they are mature enough to understand it and won't stop at the first impression. This being said, it should be interesting. I am thinking of Miss Bullstrode in particular; maybe she'll feel better about herself if she sees I'm tackling certain issues.

**o0O0o**

(1) French: "Very well indeed, dear friend."

**o0O0o**

**AN:** _There you go. I hope you enjoyed this chapter… I know it feels a little long to set up for the moment, but it is for the needs of the story. I hope you'll be patient enough and will keep reading despite that. Next chapter will be from Draco's POV again._


End file.
